Fun In Is Relative

Fun In Is Relative

It has been way too long since I've been home to see the family.
Thanksgiving seemed as good a time as any.

Most of the family came, even the ones I like. We had lots of food,
tons of laughs and only a few slap fights.

This years movie choice is the Fantastic Mr. Fox. Perfect for the
little ones.

Since I've got a gaggle of babies crying for my attention, I'm cutting
this post short.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Life Would Suck Without You

My Life Would Suck Without You

Thanks to poor marketing and a lousy economy I scored some last minute
tickets to see Kelly Clarkson at WaMu Theatre.

The venue has all the previously mentioned shortcomings still in full
effect, but it was fun nonetheless.

Pop music is always a good remedy for too much work, and Kelly is no
exception.

Hey Monday!

Hey Monday!

The ShowBox at the Market got rocker last night. Hard.

It was a really fun line-up of bands that seemed to gel smoothly to
create a mosh-fest that was much appreciated. The booker for ShowBox
needs a bonus for this one.

First up were the Friday Night Boys who got everyone moving and
jumping and generally in the spirit.

Afterwards, the band I was most excited for, Hey Monday came out and I
had to wade into the pit for dancing and mayhem. They delivered a
solid set of anthems, lively stage presence and all-around an
excellent show.

In my mind it was the next band, We The Kings, that stole the show.
Even over All Time Low who headlined. Don't get me wrong I'm an ATL
fan, but the marked improvement I've noticed over the last time I saw
WTK blew my mind!

A special treat in the middle was a cover of Jimmy Eat World, The
Middle. I couldn't stop jumping and pumping my fist. Along with 1000
of my closest mosh-friends.

On a seperate note, the crew of the Box and the various bands were
really on it last night in a big way. They set everything up and tore
it down with smooth and seamless precision that was Swiss-watch
worthy. Hats off to them!

I'll get some pictures up when I can, but if you have a chance to see
them (hint, hint, Jingle Bell Bash) do the needful to be there because
they are worth it.

And since I'll be in India, first confirmed request will get my two
tickets to JBB on the 19th. It's good to have friends in the business.

Take It Away

Take It Away

Even when the crowd in Seattle is dark and attempting to be
alternative, they're still fragile and almost cute.

Tonight at the ShowBox SoDo I got to see The Almost and The Used do
their respective things. It was mostly unremarkable.

The hilight was being in the John while some kid was dragged out of a
stall and arrested for dealing. Which should tell you about the
quality of musical performances.

It was actually refreshing to hear The Almost announce that they were
Christian and invite others to accept Him. Not what you'd expect in
between two other bands who encouraged the crowd to shout the F word.

So chalk that one up to experience and rounding out my musical open-
mindedness.

Shaimus @ Nectar

Shaimus @ Nectar

After an extended absence Seattle finally was blessed with an
appearance from the boys of Shaimus at Nectar.

They pulled a great crowd, doubling up as an MI reunion. I'd be lying
if I said seeing the old gang didn't leave me nostalgic.

The performance of Left To Dry was a favorite of mine. Glad I got the
chance to bask with them for a season.

Vacation Tip #42

Vacation Tip #42

When you travel, arrange to lodge with a cool gal who is staying in an
all-inclusive resort. It makes buying drink rounds a lot easier and
cuts your travel budget immensely.

Halloween in Puerto Vallarta

Halloween in Puerto Vallarta

Headed to Mexico to help some friends celebrate their nuptials. We're
staying at an excellent resort that's perfect for the size of this
party. It's low season so not many tourists but plenty of locals.

Yesterday we took a boat tour and did some snorkelling and zip-lines.
I wasn't a fan of the ropes course, but loved zipping around on the
lines. And all this time amongst the locals is really helping my
Spanish.

We went out last night and had dinner at a distillery that overlooked
the main strip. Everywhere were people in costumes begging candy from
shopkeepers and cars cruising. They closed the road and there was a
candy parade with thousands of people mobbing the buses and trucks
throwing out goodies.

The food and the tequila was amazing but the balcony view for the
festivities was outstanding.

We decided to take the day off and chill by the pool. Tomorrow is the
wedding and then we have some ATVing and stuff. It's good to go with a
big group for the activities.

I'll let you know if we get around to parasailing.

Snow Patrol and Plain White T's

Snow Patrol and Plain White T's

Last night Seattle got rocked by two great bands.

The Plain White T's started things off right, engaging the crowd with
favorites. They played some new stuff which was exciting to hear.
Their sound has gotten a lot smoother and more accessible which was
evidenced by all the people singing along.

After a longer than expected break, Snow Patrol woke everyone up with
some rowdy renditions of popular singles. Some of the lesser listened
to music took on new life with passionate and powerful stage
performance.

The Paramount in GA mode remains a great venue, especially for smooth
rocking bands who feel intimate but have a full presence on stage and
a diverse audience who aren't necessarily used to rubbing shoulders.

Snow Patrol captured my ear again and the chance to hear the accent
live and watch the guitars rip in real-time was a treat I'll always be
down to catch. If you have half an ear you'll want to find a
performance to watch for yourself.

Secondhand Serenade

Secondhand Serenade

The first time I saw Secondhand Serenade was at the House of Blues in
Anaheim. It was a one-man acoustic show and his passion and powerful
lyrics got to me.

It's hard to compare this show, as he was headlining with a band, and
the Showbox SoDo was in it's more intimate arrangement. But having
Evan Taubenfield open was a flash-back that made me smile.

Usually I'd be seeing gigs like this at El Corazon or Chop Suey, so
it's nice to see the artists upscaling to the likes of the Showbox and
the venues expanding their audiences.

Watching acoustic songwriters transition from carrying a show to
performing in front of a band isn't always the easiest. They can over-
reach and end up sounding formulaic and repetitive. Take Matt
Nathanson for example. I'd quit a job, lie to my mom, stand-up a date
with Mrs. Draper, or mug an old lady for tickets just to watch him
play a 5 song solo set. But tell me he's headlining his band again and
I'll have to check the calendar to see if there aren't any good movies
playing first. The difference is that significant.

All in, the bands were engaging and lively, while the crowd was
festive and typical for Seattle. I'll definitely head back to SoDo
whenever it's in small setting though, because that was well done.

The Proclaimers

The Proclaimers

After dancing like crazy to Flogging Molly at Marymoor, we are
continuing our tour of non-US bands with The Proclaimers at the ShowBox.

The surprise tonight was a band I'd never heard called Handful of
Luvin' that is from Seattle. They had a really unique sound with
clearly Irish influences melded with reggae and folk. A solid
vocalist and gifted bassist drove their music which was smoothly
danceable.

The Proclaimers were a treat to see if a bit on the novelty side.

All in all, another great night courtesy of the ShowBox and my friends
at TicketMaster.

LIA.

Feeling Wicked

Feeling Wicked

There are some things in life you never get tired of experiencing,
like ice cream, swimming, or the musical Wicked.

I've seen it in 4 cities almost a dozen times and I was just as
excited for tonights performance as for any previous. It's simply that
good.

Refreshingly the audience tonight dressed up a little more than
Seattle audiences have been known to do. It always distresses me when
this city can't seem to appreciate the culture to which they have such
access.

If you have an opportunity, make the time. It will change your life.
Or at least give you a new found love of musicals.

Keith Urban and Little Big Town

Keith Urban and Little Big Town

Tonight the Dome was rockin' and reeling. One thing for sure, Keith
works hard for his show.

A few times he seemed a little hoarse but that boy can play some
serious strings, I tell you!

The light show was very well done and everyone took advantage of loose
security to stand up close in the aisles.

If you don't get to see many shows, his is worth your time.

Jason Aldean & The Rodeo

Jason Aldean & The Rodeo

Tonight the weather was perfect for an outdoor show. I ran into some
good friends volunteering at the Puyallup Fair.

After a thorough education in the ways of professional rodeo, I got to
stand up close in the dirt to watch the country folks rock out to Big
Green Tractor.

Good thing I got some strawberry shortcake so I'd have energy to
boogie alongside 'em.

Even though it was packed, it was a fun experience and he puts on a
fun show.

Blink-182, Weezer, and Taking Back Sunday

Blink-182, Weezer, and Taking Back Sunday

Tonight down south I got to watch some of my favorite music performed
live.

The weather cooperated for a glorious afternoon which was kicked off
by Taking Back Sunday. I've never seen them live and it was
interesting to see those harmonies performed.

Weezer put on a great show. I've seen them before and this was a solid
set that did justice to their talent.

Seeing Blink-182 was something I didn't think I'd ever be able to do
and it was a really big deal for me. They did not disappoint in the
least. They played all the old hits and sprinkled in a bunch of new
singles.

The experience was all-around exhilarating and inspiring. If you don't
catch a stop on this tour, you're really missing out.

As for me, I rest easy knowing I've crossed a big item off my list.

The Morning After

The Morning After

Last night was the Full Moon Party but there was no moon. That didn't
stop the revelers though.

The boys dropped at various times and I outlasted all of them in the
race to sunrise. When finally those gorgeous rays of sunshine hit the
beach I was exhausted and ready to crash.

Still awash in body paint and fading memories from last night, we swap
stories and down grub to restore some normalcy.

It really is one of the best parties in the world. And Thai food for
the next day? Yummy.

The View from Haad Rin

The View from Haad Rin

Finally settled on Koh Panghan with the essentials acquired for the
next couple of days.

Part of the gang went touring on scooters, preferred to enjoy the sun
on the beach for a few hours. Now I'm going to nap in the hammock and
watch the sun go down so I'll be energized for tonights craziness.

Wish you were here.

To Change Your Attitude, Change Your Altitude

To Change Your Attitude, Change Your Altitude

It's been a wonderful couple of days on the islands. Yesterday we
pulled a coup for a private boat by asking for a random time to leave.
Nobody joined and the six of us had our own private snorkeling
expedition around the islands.

@triceratopshead and @coolmarie knew all about the different fish we
saw. We also got to check out Maya Beach which is famous for being
where they shot the movie The Beach. It was really spectacular.

Today we've had rain on and off but still managed to climb to the
viewpoint to look out at all the islands.

Tomorrow we head to Koh Phangan in a marathon travel day.

Wish me luck!

Sometimes Bangkok reminds me of Vegas

Sometimes Bangkok reminds me of Vegas

There are some exceptionally nice venues in Bangkok. Several times I
felt a profound deja vu as if I were in Las Vegas.

Riding around the BTS is a great way to check out the city. It's very
reasonably priced usually taking me about a buck to get from one of
the city to another. There terminals are very clean and accessible
and even at peak times it's not ridiculous (a la Tokyo or Mumbai).

The monuments are beautiful and tasteful, with a sense of pride in
evidence at the places of honor. For some reason I didn't find myself
taking as many pictures as usual. I guess it was either things I
didn't want to take pictures of, or things I didn't feel it was
appropriate to snap.

The lightning storms at night have been really dramatic. Being on the
17th floor offers a great view of the lightning striking all around
the city. I'm hoping the weather is much different in the islands for
the next week.

Things are coming along well with Pivotal, and I'm almost done
crafting up a resume. What a major pain that has been.

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

It's been more than a year, but I finally got the chance to see these
guys in a live show.

Turns out they are an incredibly well-produced and it's more clear why
they don't have the largest following. Too much diversity in music
and ability makes for a slightly schizophrenic show.

It was a great show nonetheless and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Once again the Seattle pop punk scene didn't let me down. The crowd
was the perfect size and very social. Lots of light moshing cranked
the energy to the right level and kept it there.

Definitely an experience I'll cherish if I don't need to repeat it.

Jack's Mannequin & The Fray

Jack's Mannequin & The Fray

Coming back from Burbank I headed with @thegf to a show at the
Paramount.

Jack's Mannequin I've seen before and they never disappoint.
Especially in a great venue like the Paramount in GA configuration.
They played all my favorites and really pulled in the crowd.

The Fray had an amazing light display. They used mini-cams, lots of
them, projected on an LED strip over the stage. They changed cameras
with each song so it was a very intimate connection watching close-up
of the drummer and keyboardist for example. Being able to watch the
fingering and specific work each artist did for each song was genius.

Beyond that, it wad amazing how each artist played multiple
instruments. They are a very versatile band and even swapped vocalists
for some songs.

All together, it was a great show and whoever does their stage
production needs a huge bonus because it was magnificent! Easily one
of the best I've witnessed. And if you're reading this, you have some
idea of how many shows I see.

On a side note, one of things I'm enjoying most about having a
consistent companion these days is the easy way it is to go out. I
guess I learned something about why some couple I know who don't seem
to have a reason to stay together, end up staying together. It's just
so freaking comfortable and reassuring to be with someone else.

More to come on that subject later, I guess.

47

Sometimes it just hits me. Maybe everyone else is different.

Maybe you are just different.

You ask me, you ask me
How I got to know you
Just by speaking on the phone?

Isn't is crazy
How the thought of my touch
Wakes you up when you're alone?

Don't you believe everything you hear
Darling, focus on the prize
Don't you hear me whisper in your ear
"My darling, don't lose sight of my eyes"

It's not time to let go
This is not how it's supposed to end in my mind my baby
Maybe our intentions were wrong from the start
So answer me so we don't fall apart

(I called 46 times!)
And you answered on the 47th
(I called you 46 times!)
And you answered on the 47th

You tell me, you tell me
You've never fell so hard
For an obvious candidate

You said you hate your last love
And it's soon enough that you will forget

Don't believe everything you hear
Darling, I've never lied before
Don't you hear me whisper in your ear
"Forget him you're what I'm waiting for"

It's not time to let go
This is not how it's supposed to end in my mind my baby
Maybe our intentions were wrong from the start
So answer me so we don't fall apart

You've even said yourself
You're setting yourself up
You've even said yourself
That everyone would turn

And you've even told yourself
That the floodgates would break
So why are you taking so long to answer?

It's not time to let go
This is not how it's supposed to end in my mind my baby
Maybe our intentions were wrong from the start
So answer me so we don't fall apart
So answer me so we don't fall apart
So answer me so we don't fall apart

(I called 46 times!)
And you answered on the 47th
(I called you 46 times!)
And you answered on the 47th

-- 47 by New Found Glory from Not Without A Fight

It's been my experience that those who say they understand miss the mark the most. Or maybe I'm just special. After all, I did ride a special bus to school.

Flying on Tatsu

Flying on Tatsu

My buddy @dsummer and I took a day to check out the new crazy coasters
at Six Flags Magic Mountain.

The service at this park is horrific. It I'd quite clear they are
sorely understaffed and cutting corners.

That said, the coasters are quite fun and unique. If it wasn't for the
horrendous experience just getting on and off each ride, the coolness
and thrills for each ride would have outshone many other parks.

The Deja Vu and Terminator both gave amazing and fresh perspective on
roller coasters. We'll see if X2 performs to the hype we've gotten so
far.

Mi Vida Loca

Mi Vida Loca

Alaska Airlines is the best carrier in the world. And boy am I
enjoying the benefits of their great service this summer.

I've been out and about quite a bit and will cap my summer with a trip
overseas in a few weeks.

Right now I'm bouncing up and down the coast visiting friends and
associated hob-knobbing.

The photo on this entry was the yummy breakfast on flight into LAX.
For a picky eater like myself the fresh fruit (including blueberries!
Firm and juicy!) and turkey sausage were a real treat.

The good thing about all this activity is I've had time to polish some
posts. So if you follow my other topic areas, you'll find some new
writing soon. And I might include a real intimate personal piece just
for HH.

John Michael Montgomery

John Michael Montgomery

The Snoqualmie Casino is a great venue for seeing artists up close.

Tonights show was really intimate and casual. He played lots of old
favorites which for someone with so many hits wasn't particularly hard.

My personal favorite Life's A Dance was early in the set and the whole
crowd sang along.

To make the evening better, I ran into the Wahl's and got to say
hello. I've missed them terribly so seeing them having fun was just a
real treat.

I'm definitely looking forward to coming back to enjoy this place in
the future.

What A Weekend

What A Weekend

Summer is great for packing your days to overflowing. This weekend was
no exception.

The sunshine baked into my skin every day and all the people watching
and socializing nourished my soul.

Saturday was a zoo day with a chance to sample some brews at the
Seattle International Beer Festival and some inspiring fireworks.

I got the chance to spend some quality time with good friends and make
some new ones. They taught me about gin and tequila which just proves
I can learn something every day. Even when relaxing on the grass.

To close out a Sunday that was supposed to be lazy, I got to catch a
set by Boys Like Girls at El Corazon. It's such a great small venue
for such a fun band with great stage presence. I've seen them on
bigger stages and in comparison they just exploded being so close to
the fans.

If I get the chance perhaps I'll post some of this weekends writings.
For now, I'm heading to visit from friends in Burbank. If I'm lucky
I'll get a chance to see @puarick, @shooman, and @dsummer.

The Cathedral of St. Paul

The Cathedral of St. Paul

Taking a chance to see the sights in the Twin Cities with a good
friend. After tooling around the Mississippi for a while we chance
the views of the many churches in this town.

And have a chance to also watch the university track team running by.
So there are lots of beautiful structures to be humbled by.

Matisyahu

Matisyahu

Last year my friend @jraq introduced me to this artist and took me to
see his show at the Paramount. Tonight I got a chance to return the
favor at The Moore.

I took @thatonegirl for some totally bomb empanadas at the Buenos
Aires Grill before the show. When we got to the show K'Naan was in
full swing.

So I got to see a cool new artist and then jam to a recent favorite.

Good times.

Wallflowers

Wallflowers

Fathers Day is a rough one for me.

So I went to see a show at the ShowBox for a distraction.

And I forgot that every Wallflowers song sounds pretty much the same.
Now that's been made really clear.

It was a good night anyway.

Hey Monday, This Providence, Friday Night Boys

Hey Monday, This Providence, Friday Night Boys

One of the best parts of seeing shows at the smaller venues is being
able to hang with the bands in the bar.

Tonight got good and rowdy with @funjessica and a host of fans dancing
along with some solid pop punk music.

The funniest part of the evening is when it was pointed out how much
the bassist looked like @dsummer because of the fluffy hair.

The sets were solid and the dancing was awesome. Check them out if
they come to your neck of the woods.

Alkaline Trio and Offspring

Alkaline Trio and Offspring

It's always cool to see the bands you've been listening to all your
life do a righteous set.

After a solid heart to heart with @llpeyer, The Offspring is rocking
my socks off!

They may be old, but they can still bring it!

Rowdy before A Show

Rowdy before A Show

In a funny turn of events, @llpeyer couldn't get a drink so we stepped
out to enjoy a frosty beverage.

Let's hope we didn't miss too much of the show. Regardless, I think a
t-shirt is in order tonight.

A Great Mosh and a Funny Story

A Great Mosh and a Funny Story

Last night at the ShowBox SoDo I finally got to check out a live show
by a band I've listened to for many years, Taking Back Sunday.

It was a little worrisome watching all the misspent youth in line and
then they only had the railing for the beer section on the small
setting. But it turns out it didn't matter to me at all.

The opener was Envy on the Coast who I'd never heard of before. They
were definitely an opening band. They had a good presence but no
consistency in the music. More experience maybe?

Anberlin played a great set before TBS came on. I've seen them before
and they brought a fabulous energy. And since they played a lot, all
these weak Seattle moshers couldn't stand the heat so they had to
bounce out of the pit early leaving plenty of wriggle room which I
immediately ransacked.

It was one of those really ludicrously hot pits that's just rank
armpits, swinging elbows, flinging sweat drops, ninja farts, and the
collective shouting of choruses in each others faces, mixed at 120
degrees and sprayed occassionally by water from the bouncers on the
rail.

The wonderful diversity of my circle of friends was further reinforced
last night when I enjoyed a little misunderstanding. My friend was
having work done on her car and so I asked "How's the tranny in your
car? Did everything turn out okay?" to which she responded "Nikki is
great, his boobs turned out fabulous!".

Yes, I know I should have been more specific.

Afterwards I met up with a different group to wish @rnjurk a Happy
Birthday. Who knew she had hot friends? And why has she been hiding
them?

To cap off the night, I got to watch the indomitable Berkies doing the
shuffle.

Mi Vida Loca.

One of those bands I wanted to see.

One of those bands I wanted to see.

Taking Back Sunday is one of those bands I've been wanting to see for
literally years.

Finally I get the chance to mosh to their music.

I'm super hot, sweaty, buy having a great time as Anberlin finishes
and I move up to the pit.

These pits are alwayss full but worth if it if you can stand the heat.
For a phoenix boy, this is nothing.

Lots of great dancing and "Hey how ya doings" take place.

Excited to rock. See you on the other side.

So Alive

Why is it that when things are the craziest, the zaniest, the most hectic, that is when the rush comes on?

I've recently been through a move and we all know how much that can suck. But it has also been a little invigorating. It was a chance to re-think how I live, where I live, and in small ways, how I spend my time.

Summer time and the wind is blowing, outside in lower Chelsea.
And I don't know what I'm doing in this city,
The sun is always in my eyes,
It crashes through the windows, and Im sleeping on the couch,
When I came to visit you,
That's when I knew that I could never have you,
I knew that before you did,
Still I'm the one who's stupid
And there's this burning, like there's always been,
I've never been so alone, and I've never been so alive.

-- Motorcycle Drive-By by Third Eye Blind

The onset of summer has brought lots of changes besides the living situation. The wonderful sunlight lifts spirits and lubricates social desires. The people-watching as I run through the park is just fantastic. Of course, the desire to sit in front of a computer and crank some code is constantly at war with the outdoors concept.

Right now, I'm spending energy to learn several new technology platforms. The work is fairly isolated, mostly because I have so few people who care to talk the tech at this level in my life these days. I find that spending my day in something the rest of the world finds uninteresting doesn't help me with the small talk necessary to socialize at the end of the day. So I signed up to play in a kickball league.

Here's hoping they have a spot available.

The Sleep Factor

There is nothing quite so poignant in all my mental images as those times I've slept with someone. I'm not talking about sex, you pigs. I mean real slumber. Climbing into bed, cuddling, curling up, not knowing where to put the arm, breathing the used oxygen of another, rolling over, throwing the leg, everything bedtime related.

When it comes to taking the measure of a relationship, it seems that sleep is an oh so crucial factor. It is in our restful state where we are most vulnerable, most intimate. Everything we deal with in our waking life is either resolved or reinforced when we finally slumber.

To expose yourself like that to another, to relinquish ourselves, can be a great gift. It can also be a reflection of the maturity, or lack thereof, in our relationships. The intimacy found while sleeping can be so much greater than during other physical acts (read: snogging, skinny-dipping, or shagging). While we might have no problem with getting down and dirty with someone in the heat of the moment, it can be a different matter altogether to wake up next to that same person knowing you stole all the covers and they froze all night while listening to you snore.

And even though we may take sleeping with our partner for granted, it's through these kinds of shared social systems that we build and nurture our relationships, and perhaps uncover the underlying meaning of our lives.

- Dr. Paul C. Rosenblatt as quoted in the New York Times by Kate Murphy

I know that one of the things that I miss most about previous relationships is the sleeping together. The little give and take as we get comfortable, the rituals as we prepared to come together and let all our facades fade. It is these good moments that told me of the strength of our connection, it is the lack of those moments that signaled to me of its death.

No one has ever accused me of having an active libido, on the contrary I've been kicked to the curb more than once for my fleeting interest in sex. But my longing for a cuddle, for someone to share sleep with, that has always been and remains as full in force as ever.

What's a guy got to do for good snuggle these days?

Masks Unbound

A friend whose voice I value let me down yesterday. But it was my fault and my request so there's no blame but on my own.

One part of our discourse was about my writing. The sad sorry spew that it has become evidently wasn't resonating at it should. Not enough of me and my feelings was the central theme confounding the conversation.

Most who read and know me abrade my sensitivity and self-centeredness. I am, after all, quite kwown for being "emo". But this rough handling from a friend focused on how I was not "vulnerable". Of course, I wasn't acting vulnerable, I'm feeling exposed and beat down! When you feel like you are taking blows, it is only natural to protect yourself, so naturally I was acting numb.

In the end, I know the spirit and it was good. It just wasn't the support that I needed. (How's that vulnerability?)

To redeem myself, I've chosen to share a particular piece I wrote some time ago (which could be 5 minutes or 5 months, you'll never know). It's short but then again, my writing sucks.

I must be doing something right.

Yesterday she asked me yet again if I thought I over think things. So clearly she is learning that I can't just make it stop. That my biggest relief comes with someone I don't have to analyze. For whom there is no inner translation. Someone I take at face value and trust.

Too bad she doesn't want enough to be that person.

We're all surrounded by people. Some evil some saintly, most merely interesting. I find her saintly, evil, and interesting. So she sees my masks and peels them off. If only hers was so unbound.

Just to show I'm fully embracing this vulnerability crap, I'll include a short story I wrote for someone else in my next post.

This writing vulnerability might not be good or even interesting, but that's the last time I entertain complaints of such a nature. They hurt my feelings.

A great GG quote: "It's not a real relationship if you can't hold hands."

A great GG quote: "It's not a real relationship if you can't hold hands."

Wow. Once again pop culture comes through with simple truths we all
forget.

It doesn't get more obvious or more prescriptive than that.

If you must hang out with coffee drinkers learn to adapt. Not too hot cocoa. Yummy!

If you must hang out with coffee drinkers learn to adapt. Not too hot cocoa. Yummy!

We should totally order champagne and...fudge sundaes!

We should totally order champagne and...fudge sundaes!

The Threat of Older Women

For no particular reason, I was thinking about relationships lately. I was talking to someone and they mentioned the trend of women dating younger men. Which I hadn't been thinking about, but did give me pause.

I read this interesting article from the AARP that had some interesting highlights referenced. For example, did you know that the 2000 U.S. Census revealed 12% of marriages were between older women and younger men?

Having at one point participated in this trend, it wasn't hard for me to recount my personal motivations. Of course, I tend to be prodigious once a topic strikes my fancy, so I tracked down some other references and compiled a cross section of the current thinking for you below.

Essentially, the writings indicate that younger women should be concerned about this trend, and culture should embrace it.

Uh huh.

Not sure how much I swallow, but here's the reasoning consistently provided:

• Older women are more self-confident and capable.
  
  They knows what they want, and are less prone to make selections solely based on a man's perceived ability to financially support her. Every source I found mentioned this. Of course, in my experience, women of any age care mostly about the money. Even when they say they don't. And guys care mostly about the looks. Even when they say they don't. And both genders will walk right over someone who is rich or sexy but unavailable, for someone mediocre and willing.
  
  
• Older women are more emotionally stable as partners.
  
  I'm not sure that emotional stability is all it's cracked up to be, but there is no reason to split hairs. Let's be real here: someone who knows who they are AND who they are not is always attractive regardless of gender or age. Young people of both genders fall into the trap of searching for ANY partner, instead of THE partner. And we are sucked into all kinds of drama for the silliest reasons. Who am I kidding? We create most of the drama in our lives, all by ourselves.
  
  
• Mad skillz in the boudoir.
  
  I'll reference my earlier comment about willing and just leave it at that.
  
  

So it's easy to look at the list and think it applies to the older/younger mix. But in reality, it seems to me to apply to almost any mix. Shouldn't each and every one of us be looking to surround ourselves with confident, capable, and experienced people? At least that's what I've found people believe they DO surround themselves with. Except for those people who arrogantly believe everyone else in the world is just an ignoramus.

We tell ourselves and each other in lots of ways that Size Doesn't Matter. But it does. To both genders. All the time. Boobs, butts, feet, and fingers, eyes, nose, lips, legs, and ear lobes. Everyone of every gender and orientation cares about size and has a preference. And like armpits and butt cracks, we all have these opinions and they all stink. Regardless of what yours are, don't try and kid yourself. It never ends well, old or young.

After all, since we aren't all going to be smart, self-assured, smooth, and sexy, someone is going to have to settle. Right? I'm not sure what your version of settling might be, but mine surely looks a whole lot like not settling at all. Don't get me wrong, I'll make compromises and so will you and the next guy. But in my mind it won't be a compromise in any way that I'll admit to or recognize. The person I want won't be flawed, fugly, or flustered, they'll be perfect. Because that's what I'll want to believe. So that'll be reality. For me.

Thanks for kicking it with me in the VIP @sarahoface!

Thanks for kicking it with me in the VIP @sarahoface!

This is going to be an amazing show!

The backstage tour was neat and we've got an amazing view.

Plus being able to spend 4 hours getting to know @sarahoface was a joy.

Awesome.

New Found Glory was Glorious

New Found Glory was Glorious

Last night I was able to spend some time with my friends at the
ShowBox in the Market moshing to my favorite band of all time, New
Found Glory.

There are a lot of great things to be said about Seattle music fans.
Even when they go crazy they're still pretty cool.

This was the perfect way to kick off my birthday month. Later I'll
have other craziness and quite a bit of rowdy fun mixed with some down
times.

Couldn't have kicked it off better though.

Borrowed Guitars Makes Brand New Better

Borrowed Guitars Makes Brand New Better

Thanks to the volcano in Alaska, Brand New got stuck in Seattle and
was good enough to put on a special acoustic set.

Frankly I enjoyed it more than most concerts I've seen in quite a while.

It's a mark of some great musicians that even wearing borrowed clothes
and playing borrowed instruments, they can still put on an amazing show.

Well done boys.

No Compromise

This erupted from inside earlier. No excuses offered.

Right now, I have a brief moment of free time after crossing an ocean-sized stretch in which I had none at all. I was supposed to spend the time working on a new CD, but this meant more to me. As usual, it applies to all of you, and none of you, in equal measure.

It's funny when you realize
that the biggest key to happy living
is in knowing and forgiving

It's hard to comprehend that making the road seem not so long
Is being sure you own the seeds you've sown

Don't deviate from your right path
Don't hesitate to correct your way

Claim your rights and claim your wrongs
Trust the one to whom your heart belongs

Without their trust there can be no love
Without their love life can't be enough

Don't relegate your dreams regardless of the offer
Don't mediate a compromise you'll only end up lacking

Share your rights and share your wrongs
Guard the one to whom your heart belongs

It's funny when you realize
that the biggest joy you'll find in living
is in the knowing and the forgiving.

Hope you liked it. If you didn't that's cool too. Drop me a line and let me know.

The Next Taxi

Thanks to @debono being home I felt it appropriate to choose an original piece and post it. Wouldn't want him thinking I slacked on my emo duties just because of him.

I wrote this one some time ago but it seemed to fit my mood and the activities of the day.

On this day, some years ago, one of the two most beautiful creatures in the world was born. I sang her Happy Birthday this morning. What a blessing.

---

Next time I won't encourage
When cupids cab at last comes round for me
I'll watch my words and hold my flapping tongue

It only takes a moment, a push, a prod,
A gentle poke to place me on the proper path

Hands up and waving, arms flailing, flagging down this taxi
Taking me toward tomorrow and inescapably away

You couldn't change, you can't correct your course and so

I'm standing still and sober, somber inside, sunshine out
Allowing time and a taxi to take me inescapably away

Next time I won't encourage
When cupids cab comes round for me
I'll watch it leave and hold my own heart and hands

- The Next Taxi

Watching the people crowd this airport, ordering their coffees and bagels, I find comfort in the anonymity. I see those flying full of fear, and those with anticipation near to bursting. The collective energy just washes over me and so I smile.

Then my phone dings with a tweet from @dsummer. It's obscene and hilarious and makes me laugh out loud.

Go Right Ahead

Go Right Ahead

There are lots of reasons to be mad at me. I deserve to be snapped at
for lots of things.

But I don't get the point of being mad at me for honesty. Sure I
understand discretion. And some assumption of privacy.

But if you are the one who lied, you don't get to yell at me for
telling the truth. Period.

Changing. Again.

My friends always make me change. Selfish bastards.

Alone in my room, I was writing some code on the Mac Mini (working on an iPhone app), and in walks @kylemck. He says, "I never thought I'd see the day that you were using OSX." A sentiment I shared with him until only very recently. I still hate it and think working on a Mac is like being back in 5th grade using a Commodore 128.

Driving to the airport with @jwalking we started singing the lyrics to "I Will Follow You Into The Dark". At one point last year, he said "I wouldn't take you to see Death Cab. I'd rather take someone who likes the music instead of someone I know actively hates the band I'm going to see." He's kind of jerk sometimes, but he means well and he did seduce me with that silver tongue of Bens. I saw them in concert in December and loved it.

The thing that makes some of my friends so influential to me is that I respect both our differences and our shared values. You can't keep appreciating their values and decision-making without being impacted by them. Even things I resolutely disagreed with, I begin to understand. And that's the first chink in the armor.

I still have my own opinions and think their taste in music and movies is horrid and immature. But I've been immersed in it for so long my tolerance has built up. And from time to time I manage to grow a little and change my perspective on something.

I'll close now because my phone is blowing up with all the tweets.

The Art of Hurling

Sometimes the world doesn't make sense. For me, the world often doesn't make sense. I might want it to, I might need it to, that doesn't mean it will.

The most interesting part for me of watching other people react and interact is how inconsistent and conflicting their interpretation of events can be. Like when witnesses are questioned at a bank robbery and 3 different people swear to 3 different descriptions of the robber. Or perhaps the story of the 3 blind men and the elephant is more suitable here.

We interpret our world through these filters that we don't even realize are there. Like smells we can't experience anymore because we are immersed in it every day. Or that obnoxious phone ringer that you've become so accustomed to it doesn't scare the bejangles out of you any more. When we wallow in patterns and habits of experience we lose the sensitivity we need to savor the world around us.

"When I was hurling my body onto yours, you did not seem to want to be with me."
-- Ginnifer Goodwin as Gigi in He's Just Not That Into You

Why doesn't anyone hurl their body any more? In the movies we see it, but we know the movies aren't real. So therefore we can't possibly do that. We are tentative and reliable. We don't go after what we want, we wait for it to show up.

When we do come across that person with the ambition, or desperation, or sheer unmitigated desire who hurls themselves at us, how do we handle it? Duck? Run? Push?

I don't know about you, but I want more hurling in my life. More bouncing, more flouncing, more Boom Crash Opera, and definitely more "yummy".

No More Tries

From time to time, I lose my words. Usually it is those things which I don't want to face head-on. Whatever the reason, at those times I find myself leaning on the words of others. Kendall Payne is one such poet whose well I retreat to from time to time.

So much deeper than the oceans is the heart of man
So much higher than the mountains
Are the things that I don't understand
Like why I'm crying over someone who will never give a damn

We have boarded up the basement for the storm has found its prey
I have bottled my emotions and saved them for a rainy day
Now I'll drink the bitter poison of a love that’s been delayed

Since you've been gone, I can't fight it I can't fight it
I've tried for too long I can't hide it I can't hide it anymore

This has called for desperate measures
We have left our pride behind
We are aging with the hours of this superficial life
And I refuse to be a failure, I have to give it one more try

But I doubt that you are listening and I doubt that you are moved
I have doubted every step along this long and darkened journey
But I have never doubted you
Now the longing has awoken and I don't know what to do

-- One More Try from Paper Skin by Kendall Payne

It's okay to be overwhelmed. Wanting to give up is natural. And for some things, you do need to let them go. Stop trying. Let them fade.

Just don't give up on the big stuff. Like life and living. You always have to keep living. And breathing is usually a good idea also. Unless it's really smoggy out.

The Ledge Behind

Perhaps it was the clarity of a weekend both devoid and overflowing with intimacy but my subconscious mind wouldn't let me skip over this post. It's wildly emo which emulates my on-edge mind smoothly. It's called The Ledge Behind and I wrote the draft some time ago. I was finally able (or should I say forced) to polish it now that I finally understand what I was trying to say.

It's a clear morning but my eyes are hungry
there is only fog before me
White knuckles normal on this ledge of life as
freedom finds me in your name
No more the mediocrity or
mellow morass is my mundane
I evict the everyday and
shatter the status quo with a step
Absurd and extra ordinary
no limiting lines will hold me now
Your quiet Yes resolves me
quicks my blood
and binds my fate to the fantastical
At long last I leap and leave this lonely ledge
No lust or simple longing moving me
It was your want of me that
countenanced my confidence
Your whispered words wove wings that
force my fall to flight

Just Be Real Already

A few weeks ago I wrote some posts about love that were totally emo. In reflection there was some good advice in there I should have taken.

When someone loves you, you can do no wrong. You see this every day when you see good girls with disgusting creeps. Or when you see really great guys smitten by girls who treat them like crap.

It's not just the world around me that proves this to be true, I know this from personal experience. We probably all have that story of the one with the flaws we just never noticed until it was too late. That boyfriend who chewed with his mouth open. The girl who stayed with the guy even though he lied and cheated and we all knew.

A friend of mine always said he could tell if it was love or just infatuation. Infatuation makes you completely unable to see the flaws. Love on the other hand sees the flaws and accepts them. When you love you are acknowledging the shortcomings and uniqueness of the object of your love. You love them more because of the imperfections, not in spite of them.

I'm not really sure how to apply this to myself. My desire to be better, to make myself attractive (someday), or to uphold my standards isn't going to go away because I have an infatuation. Or even a love. It just means that perhaps someday I'll find someone who really sees me for me. And when I see them for who they really are, it will only draw us closer.

So maybe I shouldn't beat myself up quite so much about those small things I'd rather change about myself. If I ever run across someone who loves me, they'll think I'm adorable anyway.

Well, it's just a theory.

Next time I'll try and write about dealing with the fall out that inevitably happens when you finally do see through to the real "them" and you realize they aren't cute any more.