29 June 2007

A Dance, Dance Blur

This week was a blur.

One of my friends was actually in the same city that I was (Seattle!) and we didn't even get to say hello! Bummer.

But I did get a lot accomplished and took some fantastic pictures of the Fall Out Boy concert. I'll post all pictures soon to the usual places.

On a completely different note, my babies leave for Costa Rica soon (sigh).

So as to take my mind off not spending time with them for a while, this weekend I'll just be relaxing. Maybe I'll get out and see Live Free or Die Hard. Whatcha think?

23 June 2007

A Slow Recovery

Last weekend I was a mess. It had simply been too long since I'd been able to spend time with my babies. Finally this weekend I was able to rectify that situation.

We had a blast. They are so amazing.

It doesn't matter what else is going on, what goes right or what goes wrong. Being with them, seeing their faces, listening to their voices, letting them crawl all over me. Everything is okay after that.

Last night after watching a movie with them snuggled on the couch, eating ice cream and being scared, I had the best sleep I've had in a month. It's like they have pixie dust and being around them it just rubs off on me, making me happy and right with the world.

Or maybe it's just that we eat so much junk food and I'm on a sugar high.

18 June 2007

Your Smile Makes Me See Clearer

Father's day weekend is always a difficult time for me. The petty and insensitive behavior of others doesn't help.
your slowly shaking finger tips
show that your scared like me so
let's pretend we're alone
and I know you may be scared
and I know were unprepared
but I don't care

tell me tell me
what makes you think that you are invincible
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable
-- Vulnerable, Secondhand Serenade

What really beats me up is my own conscience when I realize that I take my black numbness out on others without warning. It is one thing to be a disappointment as a friend, but when I fail to allow even those who consider themselves to be my friends to know my suffering; I slip further away.

I shoulder my sorrow and refuse to share, but even if they can't help carry, knowing how screwed up I am inside should give them the pause to compensate for my short-comings. Keeping them outside the reasons for my distance isn't fair; much like life.

Unfortunately, my servants guilt finds me and binds me for the numbness as much for the vulnerability.

12 June 2007

Quietdrive In Anaheim

Some time ago I went to a Bowling For Soup concert and got a preview of the band Quietdrive.

They did a fantastic job and I bought their CD. Just recently they did a show I was able to watch at the Chain Reaction in Anaheim. Once again they were really excellent.

This is a band with a great stage presence and several solid hits. Their new songs were not fantastic and a little departure from their otherwise reliable song-writing ability.

Lyrically unformulaic without traditional emo obtuseness I am glad to say they are on my list of Happy Punk Bands.

08 June 2007

One More Step

When you've been on a journey and you begin to see an end in sight, it is not uncommon for the travelers to begin to look up from the road and instead fix their eyes on the destination. This is not entirely without merit, excepting when you still have rivers to cross and jungles to wade through before your arrival. In those cases, it pays to keep your focus squarely on the steps directly in your path. When treading through the lava flows, it is the careful step that keeps you alive to enjoy the scenery.
I am a design chauvinist. I believe that good design is magical and not to be lightly tinkered with. The difference between a great design and a lousy one is in the meshing of the thousand details that either fit or don't, and the spirit of the passionate intellect that has tied them together, or tried. That's why programming---or buying software---on the basis of "lists of features" is a doomed and misguided effort. The features can be thrown together, as in a garbage can, or carefully laid together and interwoven in elegant unification, as in APL, or the Forth language, or the game of chess.
-- Ted Nelson
It is a lofty goal to produce elegance. Regardless of our aspirations, often as not, the measure of a design, like any art, is in the eye of beholder. With art that functions, it is primarily in the usefulness and fluidity of consumption that beauty and elegance may be found.

Nothing is more beautiful or elegant, then that which opens minds to be more, see more, create more, elegance.