29 April 2007

Like A Rollcoaster

This week was a bit like a roller coaster. It was start with a conversation when I would find myself surrounded by people smarter than myself, and each new interaction a flurry of dialog and new information. Then a break in which I would withdraw and reflect, small pieces of the puzzle snapping into place. This provided only some small solace that the structure inside my head was not completely amiss.

Being around passion and energy, and cleverness and quickness, and those with experience is always a heady experience for me. From time to time needs must that I remember the reasons for the choices, the decisions that drive me ever on. This week was one such occasion and sorely needed.

It is odd how I can find the presence of the capable so comforting when cloistered but yet not miss it when otherwise entangled. Almost like a juice that after it passes your lips reminds you clearly how much you enjoy the sweetness and how thirsty your throat had truly been.

When I find my mind a swirl I find that isolation amidst a crowd to be a fitting way to placate my mental state. So off I took myself and rode the California Screamin' Roller Coaster at Disneyland a full 10 times in a row. My own music ringing in my ears, my thoughts my own, my eyes wandering the randomness of the people vacationing.

It wasn't work, it wasn't really play. The absence of thought was great release. Still I smile.

24 April 2007

Walking and Talking

This week finds me taking a break from my normal work to rub shoulders with others in my profession, speaking geek with a passion.
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
One thing that becomes readily apparent whenever there are this many technobabblers in the same space is the difference between those who can talk the walk and those who can only walk the walk.

It is easy to overlook how wide the disparity between these two camps can grow.

15 April 2007

There's Talking and There's Talking

A friend of mine came with me and we visited an amusement park over the weekend.

This particular friend isn't the most adventurous, which is okay. His gifts are definitely in other areas and I respect his acute awareness of his own boundaries. Most of the time.

Unfortunately my normal deviousness came out (can you even say that?). With much seduction and smooth talk we sweetly marched him onto a ride that he really didn't want to go on. It just happens to be one of my most favorite rides in the world and one I've never known anyone to regret riding. For some reason my bossy butt decided it would be okay to circumvent his own inner checkpoint and coerce him to participate. Which he did admirably.

Going in I knew he might never forgive me and still I proceeded. What on earth was going on in my head that I felt such a deep need to give him this experience I love so much when it would hold no such value for him?

Afterwards I asked him if he was glad he did it and he said Yes. But I'm not sure how heartfelt it was. He was smiling and proud of himself but very wary. Sometimes saving us from ourselves is good. Sometimes not. I wish I was better at knowing when. I think most of my friends wish I did too.

Needless to say, he earned my respect and has a great story to tell. Of course, I'll never be able to talk him onto another ride again. Which is okay, because he did the best one of them all.

09 April 2007

Weekend Wildness

Thanks to everyone who called and wrote and participated in shenanigans this weekend.

Good times, pictures to follow.

Now back to work.

05 April 2007


This week, like a sentence of mine, has been really full.

It has been really good to connect back with people I care about; to engage in the business of living a little. My workouts have been (almost) daily, my meditations intense, my recreation relaxing.
It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity.
--Francis Bacon
In honesty, not much has changed except the faces and the focus. And yet somehow everything has changed.

Soon I'll get to head back to Seattle and meet up with old friends and share my work in a professional circle. Before then will come the weekend and some cavorting with compatriots. A game of Nertz is just what I need to restore me again. Anyone know a decent place to socialize in Orange County?

By the way, if you have the stomach for it, check out Blades of Glory. Very funny. Very, very, wrong.