29 April 2007

Like A Rollcoaster

This week was a bit like a roller coaster. It was start with a conversation when I would find myself surrounded by people smarter than myself, and each new interaction a flurry of dialog and new information. Then a break in which I would withdraw and reflect, small pieces of the puzzle snapping into place. This provided only some small solace that the structure inside my head was not completely amiss.

Being around passion and energy, and cleverness and quickness, and those with experience is always a heady experience for me. From time to time needs must that I remember the reasons for the choices, the decisions that drive me ever on. This week was one such occasion and sorely needed.

It is odd how I can find the presence of the capable so comforting when cloistered but yet not miss it when otherwise entangled. Almost like a juice that after it passes your lips reminds you clearly how much you enjoy the sweetness and how thirsty your throat had truly been.

When I find my mind a swirl I find that isolation amidst a crowd to be a fitting way to placate my mental state. So off I took myself and rode the California Screamin' Roller Coaster at Disneyland a full 10 times in a row. My own music ringing in my ears, my thoughts my own, my eyes wandering the randomness of the people vacationing.

It wasn't work, it wasn't really play. The absence of thought was great release. Still I smile.

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