30 January 2009

Just Be Real Already

A few weeks ago I wrote some posts about love that were totally emo. In reflection there was some good advice in there I should have taken.

When someone loves you, you can do no wrong. You see this every day when you see good girls with disgusting creeps. Or when you see really great guys smitten by girls who treat them like crap.

It's not just the world around me that proves this to be true, I know this from personal experience. We probably all have that story of the one with the flaws we just never noticed until it was too late. That boyfriend who chewed with his mouth open. The girl who stayed with the guy even though he lied and cheated and we all knew.

A friend of mine always said he could tell if it was love or just infatuation. Infatuation makes you completely unable to see the flaws. Love on the other hand sees the flaws and accepts them. When you love you are acknowledging the shortcomings and uniqueness of the object of your love. You love them more because of the imperfections, not in spite of them.

I'm not really sure how to apply this to myself. My desire to be better, to make myself attractive (someday), or to uphold my standards isn't going to go away because I have an infatuation. Or even a love. It just means that perhaps someday I'll find someone who really sees me for me. And when I see them for who they really are, it will only draw us closer.

So maybe I shouldn't beat myself up quite so much about those small things I'd rather change about myself. If I ever run across someone who loves me, they'll think I'm adorable anyway.

Well, it's just a theory.

Next time I'll try and write about dealing with the fall out that inevitably happens when you finally do see through to the real "them" and you realize they aren't cute any more.

No comments :