03 January 2009

Love, Rules and Sacrifice

If it's really love, there are no rules. If there are rules, it isn't
really love.

It may be like or lust, desire, pleasure, enjoyment or ecstasy. But
those feelings that fulfill are only the results. They are symptoms
not the ailment, they are the effect and not the cause.

Love is a choice. A deliberate conscious releasing of one self to
another. You cannot have love without loss.

The act of loving, even your soulmate, the one who completes you,
requires a giving up some of yourself. A surrender of some of your
insides to make room for some of theirs. To allow your course to be
charted in some way by anothers.

Love without sacrifice is often sought and never caught. Sacrifice
without love is impossible. Even for yourself. You have to love
yourself if you want to change for only you. It's easy to change to
gain other things outside ourselves (relationships, jobs, etc.). We
love them so we sacrifice.

The concepts are simple. But they are daring and they call us to the
mat. Without their simplicity we cab hide behind ambiguous wants,
desires, and duplicity. We can get tangled up in choices and
conflicts. To find what someone loves follow their time, follow their
money, follow their talk.

We make any exception or convoluted course of logic to rationalize our
desires and longings. We never have to explain our loves. We agonize
and suffer for our wants and lusts but never think twice about
sacrificing for our loves.

I've been struggling with this myself. Things I've known for years
eluding me behind a shield of enjoyment and desire. In the end I have
to choose to love myself. With that I can see compromises and
conflicts more clearly. The shortfalls and sufferings stand out in
sharp relief when thrust into the light of my own self-respect.

Are you clear about your loves? Follow the lines in your life and cut
away the chaff. It's hard but necessary for growth. And growth is
necessary for happiness. And happiness will lead you to more love.

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