13 January 2009
told me to sit up straight. Don't slouch.
At first, like most people, I wanted to be defensive. After all I like me.
Well most of the time anyway. But seriously, who does that? Who points out
something so intrusive? So judgmental? Something so positively personal as
Then in a moment my sky cracked just a little. I realized what a blessing
it was to have the kind of friend that could say that me. That she was
comfortable enough to make a point out of something so trivial yet
important. I wanted more. I want people in my life who will challenge me.
Who will expect more and better, no matter how much better my better gets.
Like most people, I crave a better version of me. I want to improve and
have a fierce desperation for being the best me I can be. Which may not be
much, but like they say "Aim High" right? So why was my first reaction to
shy away from such clearly beneficial feedback? At what point did my walls
get so high? At no point do I ever want to be that person who isn't
coachable and teachable. That kid who can't take the criticism regardless
of the source and use it to for my own improvement.
From my lifetime of learning to learn I've come to intensely value feedback,
respect expectation setting, and covet communication. Especially when those
things are clear, direct, and actionable. In this situation, I had all those
things. It wasn't a reflection on her and my posture benefits her directly
not a whit, it was merely a helpful, caring comment meant for my edification
alone. If only I had more like that.
This past two weeks, I can't stop thinking about that moment of clarity when
my mouth stopped and my ears started. When for a brief moment my guard was
pierced with so few words. Sit up straight. Don't slouch.