22 September 2005

Oodles of Charm

So I'm driving through Hollywood on my way to UCLA with my good friend Habbib in the passenger seat.  The wonderful thing about hanging out in vicinty to him is that he is positively dripping with charisma and charm.  Some have called him a "lady magnet", still others have referred to him as the Sultan of Suave.

For my own part in this story, I was pretty much just the driver and an innocent bystander.

Okay, back to Hollywood.  It's hot out so I have the air-conditioning on in the lovely Kia Amanti I was renting.  My friend and I were heading to meet up with a scoundrel out on the UCLA campus.  As we inched along, two ladies in the car next to us started making eye contact. It was pretty subtle. For all of like twelve seconds.

It was obvious to me that Habbib had once again ensnared some helpless chicas with his ultra-hip hair-do.  Habbib was oblivious in his own special way.  Then they started winking.  At this point I pretty much knew he'd have to talk to her or they weren't going to leave us alone.

Those of you who know me are aware of my almost painful shyness around anyone of the fairer sex.  It didn't help that these two were so blatantly enamored with my friend, while so pointedly ignoring me.  I just sat there staring straight ahead and whispering out of the corner of my mouth.

They motioned for Habbib to roll the window down and proceeded to give his ego a verbal massage which finally enlightened me as to why they call it a "happy ending".  He of course reciprocated in an astonishing display of flirtatious reparte.  Needless to say I took copious notes in the hopes of one day being able to reuse the simpler bits of prose that seemed to come so naturally from him.

Alas, they were just going to the store to by cigarettes. Upon learning this he immediately suspended negotations and threw an assortment of "second-hand smoke kills" leaflets through their window before we raced off to get on the 405.

There were two great lessons that day.  The first, was hang out with Habbib if you want to see what it's like when they put a bloody fish into a sea filled with sharks.  Secondly, it doesn't matter how hot you might be, one cigarette makes you look really ugly.