23 January 2006

Catching Up & MySpace Theft

With the goings on at home, I haven't had time to do any posting.  Excepting the posts I did previously which were sitting in the outbox on my phone and just recently went out. (Freaky, I know.)

I've got a few posts lined up so stay tuned. In the meantime, here's a hilarious post I stole (and edited down) from my buddy Mike. Since I really was rolling on the floor laughing my ass off I figured it needed to be shared.  Enjoy...

If MySpace was real life . . .
  • Tila Tequila would know everyone in the whole world.
  • You would struggle over the time it takes someone you like to crack your top 8.
  • 19 year old boys wouldn't own shirts and 19 year old girls would not own pants.
  • If you're a fat girl/guy, people would only see you from the shoulders up.
  • Girls would always be posing, cheeks sucked in and lips puckered two feet off their face.
  • Your attraction to someone would be based on their favorite clothing label, their favorite band, and a survey.
  • Your driver's license would have hearts around your name or quote from an emo song.
  • The phrases "Yo," "your hawt," or "hit me back some time" would attract the opposite sex.
  • Bands with 3 song demos could book stadium tours.
  • It would be perfectly acceptable to blurt out any random filthy perverse sexual thought at any random woman/man you thought was "hawt" as a first greeting.
  • It would be no more unusual to see a man walking around displaying his erect, naked penis than it would be to see random women running around in a g-string w/nothing covering their breasts but their hands.
  • Everyone would make $100,000 a year or higher.
  • There would be a lot of youthful looking 99 year olds.
  • Blogs would be required reading and any random thought in your head would be shared with everyone
  • You'd have a friend named Tom creepily following you around giving you bad news constantly.
  • Conversations would sound like this "How are you?" Sent. "Good, how are you?" Replied.
  • During a long conversation you'd have to say "Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: all right, well call me later."
  • When it was time for bed you would say you're "Undergoing Maintenance."
  • When someone said something funny, you'd actually roll around on the floor and laugh your freakin' ass off.
  • "Friend Whoring" is equal to STD's.
  • At nights when you are asleep you would get people running in your room that you don't know saying. "It's 4 a.m., I can't sleep, someone talk to me."
  • Bands go to your house and ask you to give them a listen because they see that you like a band they sound nothing like.
  • Anytime you walk into someones house they have the same video or song playing all the time, non-stop for three months straight.
  • Every couple of days you would threaten all your friends to take their information out of your cell phone and delete them, since they haven't called you in, like, four days.
  • People would run up to you, tell you a random message, and you'd have 17 minutes and 13 seconds to pass it along before a ghost came to your house and beat up your dog.
  • People would have to wait until you responded with "Read" before they could start yelling at you for ignoring them.
  • Pop quizzes would be on who's hotter, who's dating who, or who's purse that is.
  • All of your friends would hangout in rows ordered by the number person they were to join life.
  • The girls from the "True" ads would always be pushing their tits and ass in your face.
  • Smiley faces would shout at you.
  • I would have hundreds of friends.

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