03 August 2011

That's Amore

Someone recently asked my advice on planning a romantic evening. I replied that the answer would depend on who was involved. This was considered not particularly helpful so they pressed me to answer as if I was planning it. Here's my answer:
Romance means different things to people depending on their love language. For some it is time together, others need words or touch or enjoy gifts, and for some it is being served. With someone I've know for a while, I would know their love language and would design an evening around that specifically. Now, we both know that I am a fastidious student of the romantic and have a heartfelt belief in the grand gesture. So thoughtful and deliberate creativity would tell me if my partner would more value being alone together in a quiet place, sharing a unique experience, or something like being pampered with dinner and a massage. Romance, in my eyes, is about knowing and embracing the uniqueness we all have in the ways we are able to feel loved by someone else.
Their response was best described as *thhhrpppbbttt* which is typically referred to as a raspberry. At least there wasn't also an eye-roll.

In truth, this is how I feel. It is easy to distill down to a love language, but this knowledge must still be shaded with shared experiences and the practical realities of your common situation. The connection and history you share when leavened with a healthy measure of creativity and spontaneity is where romance can grow. For example, scheduling a night to go serve the community together and walk home by way of Yogurtland could well be the romantic pinnacle for a pair who met at such an event and have since lost time for such activities. Similarly, a couple who both work and are getting behind in the home chores might enjoy a picnic while a cleaning service beautifies the place so they can return for movie night in a clean living room. For romance to blossom it has to be planted in reality and will grow best when we dream just outside the realm of the mundane.

Don't roll your eyes! Not-so-deep-down, everyone wants a romantic like me in their life.

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