Getting To Know. . .Me

Lately, I've found myself ruminating on, well . . . on me.

When you find yourself alone in the quiet and not particularly happy about it, it is common to second guess all those choices, preferences, and habits that make you who you are. And let's be clear, I am definitely a product of my mistakes, misadventures, and missteps at least as much as all the blessings and boons I've bumbled into.

This post is about me. If knowing me doesn't interest you, I suggest you skip this one. I won't be offended but I won't forget either. *wink*

I'm an opinionated, loosely educated, violently disciplined, and thoroughly unsophisticated little boy routinely but not always occupying the space of a large black man. I love good conversation more than good food, and find wine to be prop albeit a tasty one. I don't particularly enjoy beer, but am always down for a round of beer pong. An exception to that rule is Kiltlifter (yummy!).

I loathe exceptions, choosing to adore instead the sweeping generalization. Happy pop punk music, Shakespeare In Love, girls who wear Converse and biting are all tops in my book.

Why yes! I am indeed a hopeless romantic and it is generally understood that I would do unspeakable things to have a modicum of musical ability. If you don't dance, I don't consider you to be alive and I pity you when you aren't looking. If you don't sing, I'll sing loud enough for all of us. Secretly I dream about inviting Jordan Pundik and Cyrus Bolooki over for tacos and Rock Band. And I almost always cheat at Nertz.

Where do I live? A question I hate. Mostly I spend time in a hotel just down the street from you. Or it would be if you lived in LA, Phoenix or Seattle. I once heard LA described as an upholstered toilet, which is a claim I have yet to dispute. Seattle still hasn't figured out it's a big city which explains the slowest light rail known to man and the distinct smell of granola. Phoenix is familiar and fun to drive in, but otherwise un-noteworthy in this particular forum.

If you mention hiking, running, camping, or skiing in the first 3 minutes of any conversation, we will not be friends.

If you want someone to go with you clothes shopping, you should know that I am widely recognized as a fashion-genius, as long as you can ignore the slovenly way I dress myself.

Am I religious? Absolutely not. However I am a committed God-follower and vastly educated in theology; loosely adhering to the practices of contemporary, non-denominational Christianity. Worship, prayer, and community are important to me, even though I find religion as a sweeping generalization to be abhorrent.

I am a deeply infatuated with brunch and dry humor. Quirky people fascinate me and I believe that an honest embrace is the most powerful natural force ever welt by mankind.

For work, I prefer the tech industry to finance, and people over process. Fun problems with interesting people will win over better money, constricting policy, and idiocy, every day of the week and twice on Sunday. The best part of my day would usually involve a whiteboard and someone smarter than I who has time for a lively discussion.

You won't find a faster friend or more ineffective enemy. Just ask Wolfgang Puck who's at the top of my nemesis list. And yes, I keep lists.

I am a counting person by nature and habit. It comes from the long practice of NLP. At any given time, I usually know how many people are in a room, how many times someone recently fidgeted, and certainly how many times you've been deceptive in the current conversation.

Cars that don't have lights that turn on automatically are stupid. Roller coasters are the most fun you can have partially clothed and movie trailers are the highest form of art. I have the attention span of gnat when it comes to trivia, holidays, or anything involving sports.

I don't cry unless you hurt me, or at night when the emptiness looms largest. I think Dill is an under-appreciated spice, and every meal should involve cheese. I prefer to do the cooking, and have an inexplicable love of doing dishes.

There's lots more where that came from. Let's hope I don't feel the need to spew like this again for a while.