14 November 2006

Smart != Sensitive?

From time to time I find myself drowning in the sea of over-sensitivity.  Other times, it is like I'm wearing flame retardant underwear, a concrete helmet, and beer googles.  It's like my personal sensitivity just goes right out the window.

Don't get me wrong, I work hard to be empathetic.  It's just hard for me.

I used to follow the stereotypes and excuse my void of empathy as an outworking of my objectivity.  As if the tradeoff for being able to accurately perceive the perspectives of others removed the ability to adopt any one position and subject yourself completely to it.  Being objective and quick and practicing rigorously the art of being able to see all the sides of an issue, and still act with deliberation takes skill.  To be able to routine avoid analysis paralysis, you must hone your sense of forwardness to to such a point that sometimes you can lose the ability to wallow.  That is a fatal flaw.

How can I be both objective and subjectively emotional at the same time?  Do you know?

I really try to see what troubles others so, but when I see through their eyes, my conclusions are found wanting.  As if my head just gives up and says, I see you struggle, but your prision is your own production.  If you listened to your own voice you would see the cage is your own construction.

Can one be objective and empathetic? Are those just words that waft about, ethereal and ghostly?  Why is it that when I am being most precise, most helpful, I am often most aloof?  Is there some balance that tilts when too much is placed on quadrant of the relationship or another?

If that is true, then my challenge surely is to shift swiftly and surefooted from quiet listener to patient guide.  And suppose a transition successfully is made, who then will provide the prodding poke when time it is again for people to produce?

You can have it quick, you can have it correct, or you can have it easy.  Pick any two.

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