Beauty can be fun. Fun is always beautiful.

Beauty can be fun. Fun is always beautiful.

On a whim and by request of a friend, I came down to LA last night and
saw Twilight with some friends.

Continuing the adventure we decided to take in the Getty.

I was teaching Janis about music, specifically emo at a Hellogoodbye
concert.

Today we are teaching Claire about art as she has never been here
before.

Last night we taught Danny about fun and making good decisions.

What are you learning today?

Ace Enders Rocked My Socks Off

Ace Enders Rocked My Socks Off

Tonight at the El Corazon I got to see Never Shout Never, Play Radio
Play, Ace Enders, and Hellogoodbye.

We danced and sang our hearts out with a cool slice of the Seattle
scene.

While watching the different bands I was reminded how important I
think a good drummer is to a band. Take +44 for example. An amazing
drummer so therefore an amazing band.

So tonight was anothe proof for my theory. If you haven't heard these
kids, you should check them out.

The Conversation

My state is such that I once again can't create but feel the need to rip something from inside and show it. So I'll borrow the words from a favorite song writer of mine. Pathetic, but since you aren't here to help...

--

Do you remember how we met?
Silhouetted by the lights...
You were drunk and tried to take a mental picture with your hands
I was thinking about that
And a bunch of other things
Stop looking at the floor...
I need to pour out this expansive dose of words.

I can't explain...
I need to be alone.

I know the timing isn't great
But these things, you just can't plan.
I just need a little time
So I can find myself again
'Cause I get buried underneath
All the things they think you are
And I'm too tired to pretend it doesn't hurt
To be left out

I had a pocket full of dreams
But I gave them all to you
Now I think I want them back
So can you tell me if I'm crazy or confused?
Don't ever change
The way you are
I've never loved anyone more.

- The Conversation from the album Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack

Mismanaged

Promises unrepaired don't hurt as do the pledges stillborn and silent. They are the lies we tell ourselves, the lines left out to make the leaving easier. Shading the truth to me built on the illicit and confusing cacophony in your own delusion. How am I to trust and treat in truth the words you use to handle and appease me?

I sense your fear and turmoil, turbulent and winding though your management may be.

Should I say I see your show you enact for this audience? Should I "Bravo!" and cheer or simply take my leave?

No argument will stand or suffice when the deception starts with self. No right repartee will pierce the veil and assuage the pain of your deceit. If you cannot share your shame, if my very being is so unbecoming, only tell me and the moment is passed.

To manage only makes more mess.

Skeptics and True Believers

It's been one of those days. So I'm putting up song lyrics because I can. Screw you Jereme.

--

Don't be so scared
We will not lead you on
Like you've been doing for weeks

So you're selfish and I'm sorry
When I'm gone
You'll be going nowhere fast
Nowhere fast, nowhere fast

Would you believe me
If I said I didn't need you?
'Cause I wouldn't believe you
If you said the same to me, and
Near death, last breath
And barely hanging on
Would you believe me
If I said I didn't need you?

Don't be so scared
To take a second for reflection
To take a leave of absence
See what you're made of

So I'm selfish and you're sorry
When I'm gone
You'll be going nowhere fast
So who's selfish and who's sorry?

Would you believe me
If I said I didn't need you?
'Cause I wouldn't believe you
If you said the same to me, and
Near death, last breath
And barely hanging on
Would you believe me
If I said I didn't need you?

Someone, somewhere said some things
That may have sparked some sympathy
But don't believe
Don't believe a word
You've heard about me

Don't be so scared
It's harder for me

Would you believe me
If I said I didn't need you?
'Cause I wouldn't believe you
If you said the same to me, and
Near death, last breath
And barely hanging on
Would you believe me
If I said I didn't need you?

Someone, somewhere said some things
That may have sparked some sympathy
But don't believe
Don't believe a word you've heard

Would you believe me
If I said I didn't need you?
'Cause I wouldn't believe you
Wouldn't believe you now

-- Skeptics and True Believers from the album Almost Here by The Academy Is..."

An Attack of Memory

I thought it was time to share some of my writings once again. This one in particular is petty, simple, and trite. But then what did you really expect?

---

Pardon my sense of the obvious
It's quiet tonight and I still hear your voice
ringing in my ears
The image of you in my mind
stops my breath and my sight
stills my hammering yammering world
all at once.

For just a single hot heartbeat
I lose all my senses
my hands are as cold as my chest
it is burning the yearning intensifies
as I relive it
and crashing my pulse starts again
only racing this time
as thoughts and reality interrupt to remind me
I'm sitting amidst this whole crowd
who are totally separate and serve
to reveal my despair and my drowning

I'm here without you but only in body
within my soul you wait
for I have your promise
you won't leave me sitting alone

Your whispered words find me
your needing and and pleading in my memory
bring me back to my senses
awake from the dreaming
one moment of memory enough to consume me
and leave me elated frustrated sated

Your touch I've awaited to tell me
completely without reservation
no more hesitations
you match me
you'll find me in these quiet moments
when even my ears betray
your voice will find a way
from inside my memory
to free me to ecstasy

If only for a heart span I would trade
the pause in reality that comes from
one single stolen moment with you

If the shadow of single memory of you
undoes me with such abandon
how dare I imagine I might survive
the bliss of a world and day in which
your touch is truly mine

I worry fretting that there are not
sufficient depths in me to contain
the light that is your smiling untiring
incomparable companionship

In the loud words resounding in my head
I say I seek a partner
in this still solitude
I hear your whispered voice ringing in my ears
and pray only that I am found worthy
of that which I've discovered